Craigslist ad:

Failed Hipster-FIXIE-MUST GO – $100 (Oregon Hill-RIC)

I tried so hard. I dated a girl from Portland. I criticized cheese. I applied the term artisanal to every inanimate object that went in or on my body. I burned and singed my forearms just to make it look like I was going to culinary school. I grew Carol Brady hair. I got itchy from the finest flannel and I cut off circulation from the waist down with jeans that made my ass look like an elevator button.

. . .And I rode a fixie.

No more. It’s all gotta go. The hair, the macrame, the texting overages, the Netflix and Hulu Plus. The record collection (have you ever tried to box up and move an effin stack of LPs?!) . . .and the bike. Pictured below is the bike. It’s beautiful. It’s got red rims. Red chain. Red tires. Red handlebars shaped like devil horns — because it’s the devil.

The guys at the hipster store don’t tell you fixes don’t stop. So I will. Fixies don’t stop. Stop sign? Fixie don’t care. Car coming turning in front of you at a three-way stop? Fixie laugh. Want Chipotle? Nope. Fixie want protein powder/beet/purple carrot/bee pollen juice and won’t stop till he gets it. Fixie has a mind of his own.

Yesterday, Fixie got pulled over twice by RPD in three hours. In six months time, Fixie collected more tickets than a scalper for a Radiohead show at Hollywood Bowl.

I’m selling this badboy and tipping the dregs of my last PBR tall boy in his memory.

From Craigslist ad:

These are a pair of size 10, Bullet, Mens roller skates, purchased for boyfriend New at 65.00. He wore them once and decided he did not like skating :)

Description:
Chicago Bullet Speed Skate features:
Low Cut Speed Boot with Padded Ankle Collar
Lightweight Chassis with Aluminum Double Action Truck
Wide Trac Cast Urethane Speed Wheels with ABEC 1 Speed Bearings
Laces and Power Strap.

From Craigslist ad:

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The neighbors who found George as a stray down at the Overlook earlier this winter are now fostering him for the city animal shelter. He is a neutered male beagle (and basset?) mix who is about a year old and 25-30 pounds. He is house trained and crate trained and is a quick learner and already knows a few tricks. George loves every person and dog he meets and is very social. He enjoys rides in the car, trips to the dog park, playing fetch and playing with his foster sister. He still has a lot of puppy energy so he’d love a fenced yard and/or a doggie sibling to play with. Not sure how he is with cats. For more information, contact Richmond Animal Care and Control.

Mar 18, 1959 – Hawaii Becomes a U.S. State
Apr 30, 1900 – Hawaii Declared U.S. Territory