Following an earlier call for a study of City Stadium’s value, Fifth District Councilperson Marty Jewell has asked for a new study of the value of various sledding hills in the City’s property portfolio.

While no particular properties were singled out, it is reasonable to expect the spectacular Oregon Hill sled runs to be among the subjects of the proposed studies. However, no one in Community Development was willing to speculate on what would happen. “Frankly, we are already missing Rachel Flynn’s, uh…leadership, when it comes to responding to some of these Council requests,” said one anonymous staff member.

Editor’s Note: This, and other stories today are satire- NOT factual news but fake, humorous stories for April Fool’s Day- and should be read with that understanding!

“Now that winter is over, its time that the City figure out what sort of monies it might be able to extract from the sport of sledding in time for next winter”, Jewell said. We might be able to find a whole new source of revenue to help pay for our youth baseball league by charging a few extra cents per sled ride- hey, it worked for the meals tax!”

I am also going to talk to VCU about getting some college students to serve as volunteer sled monitors and collectors”, he added. I think they could serve as valuable mentors to the younger youth.”

Neither City Council President Kathy Graziano’s nor Mayor Jones’ office offered any comment when informed of this new study request.

Editor’s Note: This, and other stories today are satire- NOT factual news but fake, humorous stories for April Fool’s Day- and should be read with that understanding!